Sunday, November 29, 2009

When Being Independent Goes Wrong

By Astrid Engels

I'm all about standing your ground for what you think is best for you. I'm all about making decisions for your life and not always yielding to what your partner thinks is best. But regardless of how kick-ass and self-efficient you are about your life, when you make the decision to be in a serious relationship or marriage with another person, there are certain decisions that now have an effect on their lives as well.

That compromise includes consulting your partner about decisions that will affect him or her. This in no way makes you weak or co-dependent. Discussing things with your partner before making a decision is just the smart thing to do.

Here are a few things you should definitely consult your sweetie about before going forward with:

Birth control

Granted, a woman's body is her own, but there are two of you in this relationship, so the decisions you make about your body will affect your partner too. Starting or stopping birth control or choosing a permanent solution like having your tubes tied should all be discussed with your partner.

Throwing out leftovers

Why anyone would want to eat three days old Chinese takeout is a mystery, but apparently some do. Guaranteed that the minute you throw it out, they'll want it. The moral here; if it's not yours ask the owner before throwing it in the garbage.

Key purchases

Even the Rockefellers and the Hiltons know that it's just a smart relationship move to discuss buying big ticket items like cars, boats or houses with your sweetie. Unless it's an anniversary surprise, in which case no discussion is required!

Adopting an animal or a child

As tempting as that puppy with the heart breaking little face may be (I know, so cute!), resist the temptation. Just because you're volunteering at a refugee camp while your sweetie is filming a movie and there's an orphan there that melts your heart, it's just not okay to bring home new family members without getting your partner's blessing first.

Getting tattoed

With their name on it. Enough said.

Erasing the Tivo

Just because you think he or she watched the most recent Curb Your Enthusiasm doesn't mean they actually have. This is a fast track to World War III, my friends.

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