Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Dating Myths Won't Help Your Chances

By Alan Bentley

If you are jealous of friends who seem to have guys around them all the time and able to go out on social occasions when you are at home, confused and maybe lonely, you are not alone. You may believe that there is some kind of barrier between you, stopping you from finding somebody special. However, it is more likely that you are listening to too many dating myths and unable to truly see what is around you.

Even though you may be of above average intelligence, have a great career ahead of you and otherwise seem very grounded, it is quite normal to go through insecurities and confusion when it comes to relationships. So many dating myths abound that you could be forgiven for questioning the effort required. Maybe you were just meant to be alone?

One of the dating myths that you need to dispel right away is that men will not fall in love because they think it is not masculine. Some women think that this is why they have not found anyone for the long haul as yet, but you need to understand that guys are really looking for the same things as you are and are not afraid of commitment. Sensibly, they are just waiting to see whether things are falling in place before they go any further.

If you are a successful woman, you may feel that you are intimidating guys and one dating myth says that guys just cannot deal with a woman who has great career aspirations. The opposite is generally true, as far from being intimidated, the confidence and success in a woman is a turn on.

Many women become disillusioned and confused when a long-lasting relationship comes to an end. They somehow feel that this longevity should automatically lead to a true commitment, but once again this is a dating myth. You can't blame the guy for stringing you along and have to understand that many complex factors are at play in developing a relationship.

Another dating myth which should be dispelled is that men like to be bossed around by their counterparts. Some women feel that this kind of power and assertion is welcomed, but don't you believe it. Generally speaking it takes a well-balanced and understanding relationship before anything else, more longer-lasting, can develop.

Don't threaten to break up or spend time apart in a somewhat desperate attempt to make a guy to commit to anything. Unless you both agree that you should spend time apart for good reasons and for the future health of the relationship, he is likely to run the other way.

The more successful and longer lasting relationships almost always happen naturally and are the result of two people genuinely complementing each other. You will find that all those dating myths are just that, when you find a guy who we you will be with forever.

About the Author:

No comments: