Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Your Wedding Minister Makes The Difference

By Dr. David Trumble

Who do you want to officiate your wedding? Do you have the right wedding minister?

Like any other professional, they are not all equal. There are clunkers, normal, and super star wedding ministers. Wedding ministers have personal characteristics that may be attractive or objectionable. Consider your wedding minister candidates. Look for qualities of professionalism, public speaking skills, sensitivity, listening, flexibility, and their priorities.

Many couples do not really care who officiates their ceremony for them. They accept the first minister available. One might ask, does it really make a difference who officiates?

First, you need someone who meets the legal qualifications to perform your wedding ceremony. You state law defines who is approved and authorized certain professionals to do wedding ceremonies. So the first thing you want to know is if the individual is authorized by your state to perform weddings.

Wedding ministers represent not only civil authorities, but their own particular religious traditions. You will want to be sure that your wedding minister fits your own views of marriage and family. You may not agree with your wedding minister of every detail of life, but it is important that his expressions concerning your wedding reflect your own values. What religious background have you shared, or do you prefer? Look for a wedding minister from that tradition. If you prefer Baptist, look for a Baptist minister. If you connect with Methodist, Presbyterian, or other tradition; look for an appropriate wedding minister.

Do you want a minister who comes to your wedding with his own pre written ceremony? This can really simplify things for the bride and groom, but limits the amount of creativity and personalization.

Other wedding ministers are much more open to working with the wedding couple. Having a minister who encourages your creativity can help make your ceremony far more personal and unique.

In any case, your wedding minister is vital to a successful wedding ceremony. He can make or break your wedding. Not only does he talk, he is in charge. The wedding minister is responsible for organizing, managing, and facilitating your ceremony.

In a perfect world, the marriage and family values are communicated by your wedding minister in ways that are both meaningful and helpful. He is responsible to society and his religious traditions, but he should also express you're the values to which you are committing yourselves. Use him as a resource to help you understand your commitments. Look to him for guidance and encouragement.

An elegant formal wedding will require your wedding minister to facilitate stylish ceremony elements, wording, and movements. An informal wedding will require the wedding minister to foster a relaxed atmosphere in which participants can be themselves and enjoy the ceremony.

Ultimately, you are in charge. You choose the wedding minister that will help you achieve your dream wedding. He manages the legalities, the traditions, and the coordination; but he does so in cooperation with the wedding couple. Together you can achieve the kind of wedding you really want with as much personalization as you wish.

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