There's no point in writing off perfectly good dates because they aren't, well, perfect. To my mind, honest imperfection is far more preferable to falsified flawlessness; when I date someone I expect honesty, warts and all. In the spirit of dating open mindedness, here are some common first impression blunders that you should think about forgiving.
They're late
Chronic tardiness is annoying and, depending on how punctual you are and how much it bothers you, can totally be grounds for ceasing dating someone; after awhile. Don't immediately bash a dude because he's 20 minutes late for your first date. It might actually be a specific one-time situation. You always want to make sure something is truly a habit before you go in for the dump.
Chatty Cathy or Silent Stewart
Someone who talks too much or just not enough on a first date is likely suffering from a severe case of nerves. Most of us reach back to our 6-year-old conversation skills when we're with someone who makes us nervous. Of course there's no guarantee that things will improve, but on the first date, take someone's chatter or lack thereof as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn't too awful! Let's hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
They gap your name
Some people really take this personally and get totally offended when their first date calls them by another name or forgets their name entirely. I just don't get that. It's not meant as an insult for crying out loud, it's just an honest gaffe.
It's a first date and you don't know each other yet. And that's the point, they don't know you. Maybe your hairstyle reminded you of Sally so they called you Sally by mistake. Their friends' names are already programmed into their brains; yours isn't. At least not yet. Calling you by another name when you've been dating for six months and are sharing romantic times? That's something else altogether. But a slip up on the first date is both understandable and forgivable.
Too much alcohol
Sigh. I've been this girl and let me tell you, it's not worth holding against someone, this whole accidentally-getting-hammered-on-the-first-date thing. I am intelligent and charming and witty and, darn it, I'm not an alcoholic! (Can you tell the guy never called again and I'm a little bitter?) It's the whole nervous thing again.
All of my common first date missteps were the result of my nerves, and I just needed a drink to take the edge of. Okay, maybe 5. Let it go already. Here's the thing; if your date gets regularly embarrassingly drunk in public it won't take you long to figure that out. Don't jump to conclusions on the first date.
They're late
Chronic tardiness is annoying and, depending on how punctual you are and how much it bothers you, can totally be grounds for ceasing dating someone; after awhile. Don't immediately bash a dude because he's 20 minutes late for your first date. It might actually be a specific one-time situation. You always want to make sure something is truly a habit before you go in for the dump.
Chatty Cathy or Silent Stewart
Someone who talks too much or just not enough on a first date is likely suffering from a severe case of nerves. Most of us reach back to our 6-year-old conversation skills when we're with someone who makes us nervous. Of course there's no guarantee that things will improve, but on the first date, take someone's chatter or lack thereof as a compliment.
Having a nervous first date is par for the course. It can only be hoped that sitting through all that conversational awkwardness wasn't too awful! Let's hope his or her charm and attraction managed to peep through enough to merit a second date. It takes some people more than one date to get warmed up, so go ahead and give it another try.
They gap your name
Some people really take this personally and get totally offended when their first date calls them by another name or forgets their name entirely. I just don't get that. It's not meant as an insult for crying out loud, it's just an honest gaffe.
It's a first date and you don't know each other yet. And that's the point, they don't know you. Maybe your hairstyle reminded you of Sally so they called you Sally by mistake. Their friends' names are already programmed into their brains; yours isn't. At least not yet. Calling you by another name when you've been dating for six months and are sharing romantic times? That's something else altogether. But a slip up on the first date is both understandable and forgivable.
Too much alcohol
Sigh. I've been this girl and let me tell you, it's not worth holding against someone, this whole accidentally-getting-hammered-on-the-first-date thing. I am intelligent and charming and witty and, darn it, I'm not an alcoholic! (Can you tell the guy never called again and I'm a little bitter?) It's the whole nervous thing again.
All of my common first date missteps were the result of my nerves, and I just needed a drink to take the edge of. Okay, maybe 5. Let it go already. Here's the thing; if your date gets regularly embarrassingly drunk in public it won't take you long to figure that out. Don't jump to conclusions on the first date.
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