Sunday, December 27, 2009

Marital Affairs Have Devastating Effects

By Sabrina Summerfield

Marital Affairs have many underlying causes, and it pays to stay alert and watch for these things. A marital affair can be so devastating emotionally that many don't ever recover. Their lives are shattered beyond recovery and they sink into deep depression. It really is a sad thing to see.

It's a combination of betrayal and broken trust, jealousy, deep emotional shock, and mental disturbance. Humiliation and despair are two other common emotions resulting from an affair. The sexual act looms large in the mind, like a giant tormenter that won't go away.

The sacredness of the marriage vows creates a bond that is serious. Every precaution should be taken in order to uphold the vows and be faithful to one another. That means you'll have to be a good listener, and be attentive to your mate's needs. And likewise your mate will need to listen to your needs and help you with them. It's a hard thing to keep a marriage going, and you have to be willing to work at it.

Drinking too much has long been a trouble spot for many marriages. It causes people to make bad decisions, and this is especially true in the area of fidelity. A drunk person has a much easier time hopping in the sack with someone new than if they were sober. It's much to easy to 'throw caution to the wind'.

The injured party reflects on the why's of the situation. What did they do to deserve being cheated on. It's a tormenting time in their life. It's intense and so personal they have a hard time focusing on anything else. And once an extra marital affair has taken place, the road to recovery is hard, and many times can never be traveled all the way back.

The partner who has been faithful and who's loved one had an extra-marital affair, feels really de-valued. Their sense of worth that was given them by their partner has been shattered. Communication is broken between them, and resolving the issue becomes extremely difficult.

Once the intimacy has been lost, it's extremely difficult to ever get back. The visions of their partner doing things with someone else are constantly there in bed with you. Even after years of trying, with successful faithfulness, the affair will loom heavily in your spouse's heart and mind.

You should never let down your guard when it comes to being sensitive to your spouse's needs. Watch for little signals, and learn what they are, so you'll know when they need some extra care in a certain area. Marriage is work, but the rewards are worth it. You just can't relax and take things for granted.

Being honest with yourself and your spouse is the only way to keep things on a workable field. Let them know how you feel about things, and both sides should always hold the fact that nobody is perfect, and by expecting too much from your mate, you can cause just as many problems. Realize you're both human and prone to mistakes, and don't hold grudges that shut down communication.

But resorting to a marital affair is the worst way to get your needs met. But it usually happens after one stops listening to the other, and ignores the problem thinking they should deal with it, or it will simply go away. Time festers wounds until they hurt so bad people turn to wherever they can to make it feel better. Don't ignore your partner. Be a good listener, and a talker as well.

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