Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dating Myths Won't Help Your Chances

By Alan Bentley

If you are jealous of friends who seem to have guys around them all the time and able to go out on social occasions when you are at home, confused and maybe lonely, you are not alone. You may believe that there is some kind of barrier between you, stopping you from finding somebody special. However, it is more likely that you are listening to too many dating myths and unable to truly see what is around you.

Even though you may be of above average intelligence, have a great career ahead of you and otherwise seem very grounded, it is quite normal to go through insecurities and confusion when it comes to relationships. So many dating myths abound that you could be forgiven for questioning the effort required. Maybe you were just meant to be alone?

Some people believe that men will not fall in love as it is just not masculine. This is definitely dating myth. Guys are looking for the same thing as you are, essentially and that is security and emotional companionship. Just because they haven't told you that they are in love with you, it doesn't mean that they are afraid of any commitment, it means that they are taking their time to make sure that it is right first.

Do you think that your topline career is intimidating guys? This is another dating myth -- men are not intimidated by powerful women and this is not a barrier to your relationship success. Indeed, many men find it a definite turn on, as they believe that confidence and successful women are very attractive. Never try and hide who you are.

Many women become disillusioned and confused when a long-lasting relationship comes to an end. They somehow feel that this longevity should automatically lead to a true commitment, but once again this is a dating myth. You can't blame the guy for stringing you along and have to understand that many complex factors are at play in developing a relationship.

Some women think that they should try a completely different approach when entering the dating world again. They think that if they start forcing the guy around that he will somehow like this and fall into place. This particular dating myth will likely lead to an even shorter relationship for you. Just try and remember that it takes a well balanced and understanding set of circumstances.

Don't threaten to break up or spend time apart in a somewhat desperate attempt to make a guy to commit to anything. Unless you both agree that you should spend time apart for good reasons and for the future health of the relationship, he is likely to run the other way.

The more successful and longer lasting relationships almost always happen naturally and are the result of two people genuinely complementing each other. You will find that all those dating myths are just that, when you find a guy who we you will be with forever.

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