Losing a boyfriend is one of the most difficult and saddening experiences that you may feel in your life. Losing the one you love and feeling that you may never get them back is a very frightening prospect. I have experienced those feelings before and I'm very thankful that I now have a partner that really cares for me and loves me. Please note that you will also have that important relationship as well. Obviously right now you feel that that relationship is supposed to be with your ex-boyfriend. So, let's talk about some best practices that you can implement beginning now to help you get him back.
If you're a reflective person then you are likely very clear about what the causes of the breakup were. Unfortunately, many of us are not so reflective and we don't look beyond the obvious. For example many of us might say that the breakup resulted from a big fight. This is rarely the case. There were likely weeks or months of certain behaviors and idiosyncrasies on the part of you and your ex boyfriend that slowly grew into an unmanageable and overwhelming problem. The fight was only the culmination. So think for a few moments about what you believe the main causes of the relationship were. Maybe there were more than one. Write them down if you need to.
Now that you have what you believe are the three main issues of the relationship that slowly and over time eventually led to the breakup, it's time to do something with this information. Typically, the list in front of you might very well be 2 to 4 things that your boyfriend did wrong that led to the breakup. In some cases maybe it's pretty obvious that you did something. But I'm guessing that you may have put a lot of the blame on him. This is normal and we all do it. It's hard for us to take responsibility. For example, maybe he cheated on you. But, have you thought about what it was you were doing that made him think he could cheat on you or made him want to cheat on you. If you can find the answer to that question, you are well on your way.
Conventional wisdom tells us that we have to try and get our ex-boyfriend back as quick as we can. You fear that if you wait too long his feelings for you will be gone. If you wait too long he'll find another woman. It goes on and on and on. The truth of the matter is there really is no rush. You have time. Even if he is all ready with another girl. If anything, that girl is just a rebound girl. That's good news for you because it probably means that he misses you and he's trying to fill the void. So take things slow and execute carefully.
How would you rate yourself right now on a self-confidence scale. Would you be a one or a 10? People who are confident in themselves have more rewarding and successful relationships, while those who have low confidence or self-esteem issues often experience difficulties in their relationships. If confidence is a challenge for you, then maybe this should be a priority before putting your full energy into getting your ex boyfriend back. When we are pitiful and depressed, we may attract the sympathy of others in the short term but in the long run, this only pushes others away, especially those closest to us. Nothing sucks the energy out of us more than having to spend a significant amount of time with someone who doesn't feel good about themselves.
Don't be discouraged if you feel like all this is too much for you. As was mentioned before, you're not working on something that you plan on finishing in a week or two. With a reasonable timeline, a dash of determination, and a healthy dose of self-confidence, you can enjoy a wonderful relationship with a very special man.
If you're a reflective person then you are likely very clear about what the causes of the breakup were. Unfortunately, many of us are not so reflective and we don't look beyond the obvious. For example many of us might say that the breakup resulted from a big fight. This is rarely the case. There were likely weeks or months of certain behaviors and idiosyncrasies on the part of you and your ex boyfriend that slowly grew into an unmanageable and overwhelming problem. The fight was only the culmination. So think for a few moments about what you believe the main causes of the relationship were. Maybe there were more than one. Write them down if you need to.
Now that you have what you believe are the three main issues of the relationship that slowly and over time eventually led to the breakup, it's time to do something with this information. Typically, the list in front of you might very well be 2 to 4 things that your boyfriend did wrong that led to the breakup. In some cases maybe it's pretty obvious that you did something. But I'm guessing that you may have put a lot of the blame on him. This is normal and we all do it. It's hard for us to take responsibility. For example, maybe he cheated on you. But, have you thought about what it was you were doing that made him think he could cheat on you or made him want to cheat on you. If you can find the answer to that question, you are well on your way.
Conventional wisdom tells us that we have to try and get our ex-boyfriend back as quick as we can. You fear that if you wait too long his feelings for you will be gone. If you wait too long he'll find another woman. It goes on and on and on. The truth of the matter is there really is no rush. You have time. Even if he is all ready with another girl. If anything, that girl is just a rebound girl. That's good news for you because it probably means that he misses you and he's trying to fill the void. So take things slow and execute carefully.
How would you rate yourself right now on a self-confidence scale. Would you be a one or a 10? People who are confident in themselves have more rewarding and successful relationships, while those who have low confidence or self-esteem issues often experience difficulties in their relationships. If confidence is a challenge for you, then maybe this should be a priority before putting your full energy into getting your ex boyfriend back. When we are pitiful and depressed, we may attract the sympathy of others in the short term but in the long run, this only pushes others away, especially those closest to us. Nothing sucks the energy out of us more than having to spend a significant amount of time with someone who doesn't feel good about themselves.
Don't be discouraged if you feel like all this is too much for you. As was mentioned before, you're not working on something that you plan on finishing in a week or two. With a reasonable timeline, a dash of determination, and a healthy dose of self-confidence, you can enjoy a wonderful relationship with a very special man.
No comments:
Post a Comment